Showing posts with label consent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consent. Show all posts

Sunday, June 15, 2008

What is consent?

What is consent? It is an interesting question. One that likes to be debated. One that most people still don't seem to have a good grasp on. I was pondering this question the other day and was reading one of my old zines (i love zines) and a little slip of paper fell out from between the pages answering the question for me.
I cannot and I am not taking credit for this. But would like to copy it out onto here for you all to read because it kick ass! There was no author or anything on the piece of paper and I consider it to be a meme thats purpose is to be passed around and to provide information to its readers...

WHAT IS CONSENT?
Consent is an agreement that people must make if they want to have sexual contact. The issue of consent can be a complicated and ambiguous area that needs to be addresses with clear, open and honest communication. Keep these points in mind if you are not sure consent has been established:


All partners need to be fully concious and aware.
The use of alcohol or other substances can interfere with someone's ability to make clear desicions about the level of intimacy they are comfortable with. The more intoxicated a person is, the less they are able to give conscious consent.

All partners are equally free to act.
The decision to be sexually intimate must be without coercion. Both partneres must have the option to choose to be intimate or not. Both partners should be free to change "yes" to "no" at any time. Factors such as body size, previous victimization, threats to "put" someone, and other fears can prevent an individual from freely consenting.

All partners clearly communicate thier willingness and permission.
Willingness and permission must be communicated clearly and unambiguously. Just because a person fails to resist sexual advances does not mean that they are willing. Consent is not the absense of the word "no".

All partners are positve and sincere in their desires.
It is important to be honest in communicating feelings about consent. If one person states their desires, the other person can make informed decisions about the encounter.

CONSENT MEANS...

- you are never entitled.
- communicating.
- hitting on them before they're drunk.
- knowing your own boundaries and asserting them.
- asking if they want to be touched, and if yes, asking how.
- stopping in the middle of whatever you are doing if they say so.
- asking "Is this ok?" or "Do you like this?" throughout the experience.
- never assuming that just because they had sex (or a specific sex act) with you before, they want to do it with you again.
- being responsible.
- not punishing them because they won;t have sex with you.
- paying attention and stopping when you realise something is wrong.
- many different things to different people.
- enjoying yourself and your partner.
- more than what can be defined on a blog post.

consent is sexy